Stag and Doe
by JailyForever
Summary: A Lily/James collection. Mentions of WolfStar too. (1) James proposes. (2) James sees a spider and calls for Lily
1. Marry Me?

**Prompt:** (Dialogue) "Will you marry me?" / "Maybe if you learn how to do the dishes without being asked."

 **Word Count:** 778

* * *

Marry Me?

James shoved his hands into his trouser pockets nervously. He could feel the small velvet box there, and suddenly he was flooded with doubts.

What if Lily said no?

What if she realised she could do so much better than him?

What if… what if she had found someone else and broke up with him? And worse... what if that person was Snape?

The phone in the kitchen started ringing, drawing James out of his thoughts, at just the right time in his opinion. He padded over towards the kitchen and answered.

"PRONGS!" a voice yelled down the phone. "STOP WORRYING, MAN. REMUS AND I ARE TRYING TO HAVE SEXY TIMES AND ALL I CAN FEEL IS YOUR DOUBT!"

James chuckled to himself as he heard Remus in the background telling him not to talk so loud.

"SHE'S GOING TO SAY YES!" Sirius continued, equally as loud. "AND THEN, YOU, ME, REMUS AND PETER, IF THE GIT CAN FIND THE TIME TO TEAR HIMSELF AWAY FROM THOSE PLANTS HE'S BECOME OBSESSED WITH LATELY, ARE GOING TO GET SO DRUNK."

"Padfoot, would you lower your voice? These phones do work if you talk like a normal person," James laughed.

"Yeah, that's what Moony said," Sirius replied, quieting his voice. "But I just love to see him get riled up. It makes the sex so much better. This one time, we…"

"That's enough," James said, cutting him off. "As much as I love you both, there is only so much I need to know about your sex life."

"Right, anyway as I was saying, Prongs, stop fretting," Sirius said. "I can't wait to plan your bachelor party. We are to get so drunk."

"Easy for you to say," James snorted, recalling Sirius' tale from a few months ago about how he had proposed to Remus in the middle of sex and he had said yes. "There is still the small matter of Lily saying yes."

"You know you could always take a leaf out of my book," Sirius suggested.

"And sleep on the couch indefinitely," James laughed. "I don't think so."

"Just an idea, mate," Sirius said. "Anyway, Remus is making come to bed eyes at me and you know I find him irresistible. Just remember, give her the good old Potter charm and she'll say yes. Failing that, Remus and I have room for you in our bed."

"I think I'll pass on that," James answered, frowning. "You're right, she'll say yes. I have nothing to worry about. Now go get laid, Pads."

"Laters, Prongs."

The long dial tone on the phone told James that Sirius had hung up on him. Feeling slightly reassured, James placed the phone down and started on dinner preparations for himself and Lily. Thanks to Sirius, he had lost precious minutes.

~o~o~o~

"Will you marry me?" James asked, looking up at Lily with hope in his eyes.

"Maybe if you learn how to do the dishes without being asked," Lily answered, looking up at James from under her eyelids with a smirk on her face.

"For you, my love, anything," James replied, kissing Lily softly on the cheek."Is that a yes then?"

At that Lily raised her eyes and glanced over at the pile of dishes that were piled high by the washing up bowl.

"Would you like me to the dishes, love?" James asked, following her gaze.

"That would be lovely," Lily sighed, smiling brightly at James as she stood up from the dining room table and made her way over to the couch "And I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee either."

James nodded his head and said, "Don't think I've not realised you haven't given me an answer to my question."

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Lily laughed, sitting down and placing her feet up on the couch. "Don't you have dishes to be washing, darling?"

"That's not a no," James smirked, "which is as good as a yes in my book."

"Go and do the dishes, you idiot and then maybe I'll give you an answer," Lily laughed.

"Yes Ma'am" James replied, saluting her and making his way over to the kitchen as he reached for his wand.

"Oh and, James sweetheart," Lily called. "Make sure you do the dishes by hand. I feel the Muggle way is better. For some reason, they're never quite clean enough when done by magic."

"Absolutely, darling," James replied, loosening his grip on his wand and sighing.

It would all be worth it in the end though when his mother's engagement ring rested on her finger for the whole world to see and she would be one step closer to being his wife.


	2. Kill The Spider

**Prompt:** (Scenario) Character A calls Character B over just to kill a spider

 **Word Count:** 521

* * *

Kill The Spider

"LILY. COME QUICK!" James cried loudly, moving his feet up onto the couch and curling up into a ball.

Lily dropped the feather duster in her hand and rushed into the living room at the sound of her husband's terror.

"Where's the fire?" she asked, looking around the room to see what had caused him to cry out in fear.

"There's a great big hairy spider there," James said, pointing at the coffee table. "Kill it quick."

"Let me get this straight," Lily said, her eyes flitting from her fearful husband to the spider on the table. "You called me over to kill a spider, and a tiny one at that."

"What are you talking about?" James said. "It's huge. Kill it. Please."

"James, it's barely the size of small button," Lily told him. "It's not going to hurt you."

"Lily, kill now or there's no sex tonight," James threatened.

"I can live with that; the question is can you?" Lily laughed, raising her eyebrows at her husband.

"Lily, please, you know how I feel about these horrible creatures," James replied, pleading with his eyes for her to do something.

Lily rolled her eyes and sighed before turning around and walking to the kitchen.

"Lily, where are you going?" James asked, his eyes completely fixated on the spider crawling across the coffee table. "It's moving. It's going to jump on me."

"Oh don't be such a big baby," Lily said returning with a glass, and taking one of the coasters off the table. "I'm getting rid of the big bad spider for you. And spiders can't jump, you moron."

"But… but you're not killing it," James replied fearfully as Lily placed the glass over the spider. "What if it comes back?"

"Oh, relax. It won't come back," Lily laughed, pulling the glass towards her and placing the coaster under the glass, trapping the spider. "Would you open the window for me?"

James nodded his head and hurried towards the living room window, opening it as fast as he could.

"Throw it out," James said, moving as far away from the window as he could. "Maybe the fall will kill is since you won't do it for me."

"Are you trying to make me change my mind," Lily said, spinning around and starting to walk towards James. "You know I could just as easily put this spider on you."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please put the spider outside," James cried, running out of the room and locking himself in the bathroom where Lily couldn't get to him with the spider.

Lily rolled her eyes at her husband's behaviour, made her way towards the window and placed the spider outside.

Deciding to make herself a cup of coffee whist her husband was off being a big baby, Lily made her way towards the kitchen.

Just as she put the kettle on, she heard James yell, "LILY!"

"What?" she called back, equally as loud.

"There's a spider in the bath and it's huge," he shouted. "Come and kill it."

Lily sighed heavily. When would her husband finally deal with his irrational fear of spiders?


End file.
